


In the Light

by OrmondSacker



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Character Study, Finn Skywalker, Force Ghosts, Force Visions, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-23
Updated: 2016-02-23
Packaged: 2018-05-22 20:49:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6093646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OrmondSacker/pseuds/OrmondSacker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The world thought that Finn was in a medically induced coma, but to the young man himself reality looked very different.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In the Light

**Author's Note:**

> Saw a Finn Skywalker meta floating about, it got me thinking. That's a dangerous thing for a fic writer.

He was drifting, floating in haze of golden light.

Things seemed to be moving through it, all around him. Points of light, more concentrated than the rest. 

One, a very bright one, hovered close beside him for a while and when it left it seemed to leave a small part of itself behind. Still its leaving made him sad. 

Another – this one felt old and weary, yet looked no less bright than the first – came and went often. It had a sense of... doubt, and a pain so deep it left him aching, yet still it was so hopeful. 

The third that came often into his field of vision was less bright than the other two, but still vibrant. This one only came after the first left and would hover quietly beside him for long periods. 

He knew they all tried to reach him, to talk to him, to call him back, but he felt too tired and weak to answer them and the light was so comfortable. 

But they were important, important to him, he knew that. Though he was puzzled as to how he knew. 

_Who were they? They had names. If he could only recall..._

They were on the tip of his tongue, but they kept slipping away. 

If only he could recall himself, then maybe... 

The light soothed him again, but this time he resisted. He wanted – _needed_ – to know. 

_Who was he, who was he, who was he?_

_FINN!_

His surrounding shivered and blurred, and the light became even brighter. 

“That was not always your name,” a female voice that seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere at once said. 

He cast his attention about, but could see – sense – nothing but the bright luminance. 

“I'm not FN-2187. Not anymore, never again,” he said defiantly. 

“That was not always your name either,” the same voice continued. 

Finn swallowed. 

“Before that, you had another,” it continued. 

His chest constricted with pain. 

“I don't know it. I don't remember,” he whispered. 

“One day, you will.” 

It seemed impossible to him. The likelihood of him ever locating his family was nil. Whatever records there might have been of where he was born and who he was born to, were buried deep inside some First Order databank and far beyond his reach. That was, if such information existed at all, because why would The First Order bother to log that kind of information on a common Stormtrooper? 

“You will,” the voice repeated. 

“Who are you? Show yourself.” 

The disembodied voice and the complete lack of any kind of land marks in this place was getting to him. 

“Look.” 

“I _am_ looking,” he protested. 

He had the strangest sense of the woman shaking her head. 

“Open yourself. Reach out, and _see_. Don't be afraid.” 

He huffed. 

“Don't think there's ever been a time I wasn't.” 

“And yet that never stopped you from doing what _had_ to be done. What was _right_ to do. Not when it really mattered.” 

He hesitated. 

_What did he have to lose?_ He couldn't stay here forever. 

Taking a deep breath Finn tried to do as she asked, to open up, reach out. 

For an infinite moment nothing happened, then the world around him shimmered and shifted, hardened into a landscape of hills and trees made of an even brighter light than before. It also revealed the figure of a human woman standing before him. 

Finn wasn't quite sure how he had thought the owner of the voice would look, but it was not this like this. She wore a dress of heavy, gray homespun cloth around her slender frame. Her face, framed by long dark blonde hair pulled into a knot at the base of her neck, was lined with both age and hardship, but the smile on her lips was warm. And her eyes were so mild and kind they made something in him ache with longing. 

“Who are you?” Finn asked. 

“Names no longer matter where I now am, but when I lived I was called Shmi.” 

“Shmi.” He tasted the name, it felt oddly familiar on his lips as if it were a name he should recognise. 

Frowning he dismissed the feeling, there were other matters that felt more important at the moment. 

“Why am I here? Why are you here? And where is here anyway?” 

“Do you not recognise it?” 

He shook his head. 

“You knew it, long ago.” 

He frowned again. 

“Before I was FN-2187?” 

Shmi nodded. 

“Yes,” she continued. “They took more from you than you know. Only you can decide if you will get it back.” 

“I don't understand.” 

“Don't you feel it? The call?” 

He opened his mouth again, to ask what she mean, when he felt a tiny tug somewhere deep inside, the slightest connection to... 

He reached for it, tried to grasp hold, but the harder he tried the faster it slipped away from him. 

“Relax. Calm yourself before you reach out.” 

Scared of losing that tenuous connection to something.... something important, Finn still reigned back his frantic efforts. Swallowing he focused on staying calm, the same way he did in battle, before once again trying to touch. 

Stretching, reaching, finally connecting, warmth and peace filled him, an infinite radiance. 

He knew beyond a doubt what he felt, but that was... impossible. It was... this place and all that was, and eve more than that. 

_Impossible._

Finn looked down at Shmi. 

“I'm no Jedi,” he said, his voice hoarse. 

“No. Not yet, maybe never. But Force is strong in you, as it has been in all your family whether they chose the path of the Jedi or not.” 

She reached out and gently caressed his cheek. The intimate gesture felt both familiar and comforting. 

“As for why we are here?” Shmi continued. “For now this is the only place where I can reach you and the time is fast coming for you to make a choice, but you have not received none of the instructions necessary for you to do so.” 

“What will happen if I make the wrong one?” 

“There are no wrong choices, only prices that must be paid. Whether they are paid by you, or by others, depend on your choice.” 

“How will I know which one I should make?” 

She put a hand on his chest. 

“Trust what your heart tells you, it has led you well this far. The Force can only guide you, it cannot determine your actions and it may whisper to you, but it cannot make you listen. And in the end, the choice is yours.” 

She took his hands in her own bony ones. 

“It was always yours.” 

He nodded. 

“I know. I can't stay,” he said, even as there was part of him that wanted nothing more. “I have to return. I can't leave my friends.” 

“Yes. But remember, when the time comes I will still be here.” 

For a second Shmi seemed to transform. She grew taller – as tall as he was – and her skin darkened, and rather then the tight knot of dark blonde hair, her face – now with high, delicate cheek bones and wide lips like his own – was framed by a number of slender, tightly woven braids. 

_He knew her! If he could only-_

“As I have always been, my son.” 

The woman took his face in her hands and pressed he lips against his forehead. 

As she let go he blinked in surprise and found her replaced with Shmi once more. 

Finn gulped and blinked again. 

_Who? Where? He must have imagined that, mustn't he?_

Not knowing what to make of what just happened, or if it had even been real – as much as anything in this place was real that was – Finn shook his head and turned his attention back to the issue at hand. 

“How do I return?” 

“You already know,” Shmi answered. “Feel them.” 

The moment she spoke Finn knew what she meant. Those tiny connections that held him to his friend, tied him to the living world, he felt them and knew they would lead him back. 

Stepping back from Shmi he nodded to her once in parting, before he let his mind reach out once more to follow the path back. 

Again the world changed around him, shifted, coalesced into- 

  


-the sight of a dark haired man, dressed in a faded grey shirt who stood by the window, back towards him, looking out. 

Finn swallowed. 

“Poe?” 

His voice was weak and coarse with disuse. 

The pilot spun around and smiled brightly on seeing him awake. He crossed the room to the side of Finns bed and put a hand on his arm. 

“Hey there buddy. You know, you scared us for a while.” 

Finn smiled back best he could, even though he felt exhausted. Odd that he should when he had been lying here sleeping for a very long time. 

“Rey?” 

“She's fine. She's not here right now, but she's okay.” 

Finn nodded, accepting Poe's words. He could feel she was fine, that little part of herself she left behind when she went away told him, he just needed to hear it said. 

“You stay right here I'll go get a doctor.” 

“Not planning on going anywhere,” Finn grinned. 

Flashing him one in return, Poe disappeared out the door. 

Finn closed his eyes again and relaxed into the soft mattress beneath him. 

The Light was still there, at the corner of his vision. It wasn't time, not yet, there were other things that needed to happen first. But when it came he would reach for the Light and all it held once more, and he knew it would come to him.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on [tumblr](https://the-name-is-finn.tumblr.com).


End file.
